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Now put it over your mouth.". Anonymous. "Stop complaining about your life. There are people out there dating your ex.". Anonymous. "Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.". "Having children gives your life purpose.


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Give it your all (within reason) Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood." —Bill Murray. Bill Murray's career as a comedian, writer, and actor has spanned half a century.


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1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life ." 3..


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Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.". - Michael Scott, The Office. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.". - Charles M. Schulz. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.". - Will Ferrell.


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Funny Sarcastic Quotes on Life to Motivate & Laugh Out Loud. 11. "I don't like morning people or mornings or people". 12. "Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.". 13. "Everything happens for a reason… usually, the reason is some idiot.". 14. "Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say & do.


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"Keep calm and carry a wand." — A.W. Jantha, "Hocus Pocus & The All New Sequel" "The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last." — Willy Wonka, "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" "Why do they call.


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Funny Nasty Quotes Funny Quotes Nasty Quotes Discover and share Funny Nasty Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.


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"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. A. Milne Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln


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Funny Quotes Whether it's a play on words, a funny observation about everyday things or old witty sayings, comedy has a way of making us realize we're all going through the same stuff in this.


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63. "Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.". 64. "It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste.". 65. "Sarcasm - the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.". 66. "You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.".


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Unknown. Unknown. New Year's Day is every man's birthday." —Charles Lamb. Unknown. "Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it.


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Tupac Shakur Let's not be narrow, nasty, and negative. T. S. Eliot I got nasty habits; I take tea at three. Mick Jagger Mental health can be nasty but there is light at the end of the tunnel! Kerry Katona Nothing unites a group more than a common enemy, be it the Soviet Union or Nasty Nick from 'Big Brother.' Josh Widdicombe


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Funny quotes about enemies. 31. "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."—. Oscar Wilde. 32. " The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies.


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1. "Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane." 2. "If I had any talent in the world. I would be a great diva." — Ruth Bader Ginsburg 3. "Someday I want to be perfect; until then, I'll be happy.


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13. "Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.". — Cassandra Clare, City of Bones. 14. "Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of.


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3. "I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." 4. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made." 5.

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